Everything Illuminated

NOVEL NOVEL

2009-10-15T05:41:21Z

We're having wonderful, wonderful weather. Dark clouds, light sprinkles, many puddles. Makes me feel excited about being alive for this time of year. The best time of year. Fortunately for us our power hasn't been knocked out or anything like our friends (though, if you can't whip out some candles and amuse yourself with a book, coloring pages, or some good conversation then you should really rethink your life!). But it's toasty inside and chilly out and that's just the way I like it! Mind you, the sand being dragged indoors isn't very pleasant though.

Last weekend I spent the better part of my afternoon and evening with The Boys. We drove to Hollywood and they reminisced about concerts they went to while we ate at their usual 'pit stop'. Then it was off to the Griffith Observatory! The parking lot was full, so we parked a ways down and trekked on up. It just reassured me of what I already knew: I am majorly out of shape. I was the slowest one, but despite being sick I still think I would have gone at that pace. It was packed! Families everywhere! Old and young! It was beautiful, to see such interest in our planet. We wasted a dollar on the viewing binocular things (which I could barely see out of, even with my tip-toeing). We even sat with Einstein. Everyone was surprised at how long this big beautiful baby's been around, feels like only a couple years since we've been here! A man was offering people a meteorite to touch, and after my boyfriend shooed us away saying it was radioactive, we decided it was time for dinner.

So off to dinner! We didn't eat. We played arcade games for a few hours. Then dined on some lovely fast food, discussed who could say what in that language, shared our impressions, and finally talked about disturbing position during the act of coitus. To think, originally we were going to go to the LA Zoo. Which I still want to do (I want to see a real giraffe!).

I hate my boyfriends schedule currently. I'll never get to see him with him going back and forth between two jobs. Boo hoo!

ITCHY

2009-10-06T22:02:21Z

Argh. I'm having some sort of uncomfortable allergic reaction to any number of bacterial growths or spores in my house. It sucks.

Don't you just hate when you wish people would notice your work, and when they do, it's only to tell you how much you fucked up? Really, I feel completely worthless after that. It turns into a pessimistic spiral of self-pity and moping around. Totally not worth it, I understand, but one can't help it.

Our hallway has a very large wall and it's completely bare. I want to paint something on it. Something nice and colorful, because this house needs color. Any ideas?

The outrage.

2009-09-28T18:30:23Z

I have more creativity in the crud beneath my toenails than some people. Really.
I don't think I could ever think inside the box. I can't be literal. Everything you do in life is literal and strict, so why would you want to be a stiff whilst playing a game? Slags.

What's worse is I have to miss the second episode of The Big Bang Theory tonight! Why me!

Slap-A-Ho

2009-09-27T06:26:33Z

I have a MySpace and a facebook, but I don['t use them. Cos I don't understand any of it. So... Fuck Twitter.

Lame.

2009-09-27T04:15:16Z

Drinking by yourself on a Saturday night.

Strangeeeee

2009-09-27T03:53:35Z

My friend Onion Butt and I are one day apart. Exactly. I'm one day older. I am the twelfth and he is the thirteenth. I found out one night when we all went to dinner at The Magic Lamp. So when we both went to the store to get alcohol last night, we both had to pull out our ID's. The cashier had to mention it.

Cashier: Huh! Would you look at that! Born the day after her! *shows courtesy clerk* Crazy! Same year.

Me: Wow. You actually CHECK IDs? *Everyone stares at me because that's rude to say to a guy who's just doing his job.* Well... heh... good thing we weren't born in the same hospital... or that'd be WEIRD... *leaves embarrassed*

Yeah. Seriously. It was kind of awkward. Like, what if we didn't know each other? Well, then my boyfriend told us a story about how last week he carded three guys (he had to mention they were asian) that all had the same exact birthday as him. And they were all going to see District Nine. What a crazy world!

Yea. Weird.

2009-09-26T17:31:32Z

0
Chinese woman boiled man’s head in soup to treat daugther’s psychiatric problems
Ani
June 24th, 2009

LONDON - In the hope of finding a cure for daughter’s psychiatric problems, a woman in China boiled a man’s head in a soup, local newspaper reported.

Back in 2008, Lin Zongxiu, from the southwestern province of Sichuan had heard that soup made with a man’s head could help cure her daughter who had suffered from psychiatric problems for years, the Chengdu Commercial newspaper reported.

After learning the information, Lin and her husband decided to enlist the help of a man in December who knocked unconscious a drunk 76-year-old passer-by before beheading him, the paper claimed.

The couple then gave their 25-year-old daughter soup made from the man’s head, and duck, reports The Telegraph.

On Monday a local court sentenced the murderer to death with a two-year reprieve, and Lin was convicted of helping to destroy evidence that included the culprit’s bloody clothes and shoes, the paper said. (ANI)

Bustin' Makes Me Feel Good!

2009-09-26T16:47:28Z

Been going through a weird nostalgic thing lately. Power Rangers, Teenage Turtles, Ghost Busters, Hey Arnold, and Tiny Toons. And now I've come to the conclusion that I absolutely love Egon Spengler. He's just amazing. And intellimagent. And I like that. Plus, I was a pretty lame little kid.

Pretty lame.

I don't go online much because I find it just as difficult to make friends online as it is IRL. Is that just sad or what? Socializing is a tedious task anyway...

"You're vagina is rated G for everybody."

2009-09-23T00:05:10Z

Why I hate my job:
1. My bosses are all crotchety old bastards that probably hate their lives. So they take it out on the employees.

2. They give me really bad schedules. Like, really bad.

Why I'm sad:
1. My rabbit had a stroke and now she's all messed up.

2. I don't have money to help her in any way.

3. I don't have money to help me in any way.

4. I don't have money.

5 videos I find amazing:
1. Nutrigrain Ad

2. Al Dente via Vimeo

3. T-Mobile Dance

4. Post-It Love

5. Onitsuka Tiger - The Zodiac Race Film

Boons

2009-09-20T04:09:00Z

Sometimes I feel like I'm in a sitcom. My adventures always include Michael, Julio, myself, and my boyfriend. The other night, on our way to pick up some note cards for my french and spanish, we drove by the Casino. A limo pulled out, so of course I was curious to see who was in it. In the back seat, there was a blond with no clothing doing what obviously looked like riding a gentleman's cock. Then they got on the freeway.

I hope someone had a camera in there.

MEMEMEMEMEME

2009-09-19T23:48:51Z

MEME - Stolen from B.

FIRST: If you've been tagged, you must write your answers in your own LJ and replace any question that you dislike with a new, original question.

SECOND: Tag eight sexy people. Don't refuse to do that like a pansy. Don't tag who tagged you. In short: OBEY. MY WORD IS LAW. NO TAG BACKS!

TAGGING: DO IT IF YOU WANT. I dont have anyone to tag. ;___;

Who sleeps in bed next to you?
Creepy crawly things that enjoy biting me. And my boyfriend, Mario.

What's one of the strangest things that has ever happened to you?
Having an escaped convict come up to my car and tell me I'm pretty, then proceed to tell my boyfriend to eat me out. Seriously, he gave us advice on how to steal an entire outfit from Walmart.

What kind of magazines do you read?
I read the cover of various tabloid magazines. Why pay when I can read three covers and figure out that Rob Patterson and that one girl are obviously making up for daddy not paying attention to them as children.

If you could see one band in concert right now, any band, dead or alive, which would it be?
It's a sad, sad day when The Cramps have gone away. Tragique.

What's really creepy?
The people that tape and/or put up murder videos.

Name one odd item within five feet of you.
A usb powered fan and a Fallout 3 bobblehead.

What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
Besides my own ego (I stroke it often), I'm obsessed with Dr Pepper, FOREIGN STUFF (currently french, but it fluctuates), and The Big Bang Theory!

Where would you like to go right now if you had enough money?
Planet Love, France, Belgium, England, Italy (before it sinks).

What are you most excited for?
Halloweeeeeeen! Everything else is less important. Even breathing.

What websites do you always visit when you go online?
YouTube, LJ, Vimeo.

What was the last thing you bought?
Delicious books.

What's you favorite season?
Autumn. It's comfy cozy.

Does the weather affect your mood?
When the temperature reaches 69 degrees Fahrenheit I go ballistic. I'm a modern day Mr. Hyde.

What is your zodiac sign?
TANGERINE MIRELURK COOKIES.

Do you want to learn another language?
I can't speak English very well, and it's my native tongue. But I'm currently learning SEVERAL other languages. Poorly I might add.

5 things (not people) you can't live without?
Flowers, books, writing utensil & paper (you can't have one without the other), a bed, mysteries.

Do you have any siblings?
I come from a litter of little shits. Four brothers (none completely biological) and two other siblings (completely biological, unfortunately, but not completely sane)

Close your eyes. What's the first thing you see/imagine?
A butterfly face attached to a dancers body, pretending to be a giraffe whilst a bunch of flowers kill themselves on the floor, ripping out petals.

What's your earliest memory?
When I was three and I stabbed myself in the leg because I thought I was old enough to cut it myself. On my leg.

Say something to the person who tagged you:
What? Do I got shit on my face?

Baby Steps

2009-09-17T21:58:42Z

I feel stretched, like dough. I've been pulled too far and now there's a hole tearing through my middle and it's very difficult to mend. I don't know where my minds gone these past few days, but it's nowhere near my brain. I cry randomly and dance randomly and feel randomly. I can't explain anything. I want a baby and I don't know how to make the wanting go away.

FTL

2009-09-15T21:33:42Z

The Predators from RoyaB on Vimeo.

Capu-ssesed.

2009-09-15T21:23:34Z

Recently, I stumbled onto an adorable video of a little french girl. Her name is Capucine. She is incredibly creative, which makes me feel sad. Because most children nowadays are so absorbed in video games and television and she just seems so whimsical. Even more whimsical it seems is her mother. If only more families were so. I love adorable children.

In news about myself, today I was quite randomly nauseated at work and got sick. I felt fine and then I came home and it hit me again. What I need right now is cheering up.

childofcaprice @ 2009-09-14T18:02:00

2009-09-15T01:03:06Z

Its disgusting how I let myself get emotionally thrashed and bashed.

Shoes

2009-09-15T00:13:09Z

My shoes came in the mail. OF COURSE my calves are still too fat but I'll make it work...

MAN.

Goo Goo

2009-09-13T22:35:43Z

Yesterday was a surprisingly not boring day. After much discussion I went to Pasadena (Where Big Bang Theory is set) and hung out with Duckie. Actually hanging out in Pasadena at ten in the awful morning wasn't that great. None of the shops were open, so we walked up and down Colorado and the back streets, all over this damn town, and when they opened, I realised I didn't even have money to buy anything. Bugger. But I did go to the Cheesecake Factory which was another huge disappointment.

But it was my morning that was most exciting. I woke up late, came in and out of the house four or five times due to forgetting essentials like wallet and keys, went to get gas and had the nozzle shoot out of the car and douse me with a lovely $1.41 worth of gasoline, went home and changed, still smelled like gas, and then I'm pretty sure I got some sort of food poisoning from Cheesecake Factory. Because I spent a good deal of time with the porcelain goddess. Then I played pictionary with the boys.

My rabbit is probably sick and I can't afford to take her to a vet. I can barely afford to go to my own doctor. Medical care is a bitch.

Why You Don't

2009-09-13T04:08:22Z

Add your mother on Facebook/Myspace.

Because she doesn't need to read your self-pitying bs. Really.

Recently

2009-09-13T03:25:38Z

My boyfriend, and amazing technical support, uploaded the photos on my phone. Which, essentially, is my camera. Uploading photos from a phone doesn't seem difficult, but for some reason my service carrier finds it profitable, so we had to hack my phone to get it to work. Don't worry, the phones warranty (if it had one) was voided long ago when I dropped it in the toilet for the first time.

Warning: Foto Heavy Entry Ahead!

This is me. This is exactly what I look like.

These are very cool license plates.

This is a parking meter informing us that we have failed.

These are various products that have failed.

Nothing says I'm asian like eating Mr. Udon.

Should have been a pregnancy test.

Because OK Cookies wouldn't have sold.

I love knock off foods.

One Up! than watermelon.

A little too DIY if you ask me.

For all that hair you're washing!

All this html is making me tired so that's enough pictures for today.

I feel very bored and lonely. My boyfriend is currently under the impression that I work tomorrow and therefore I should be asleep right now. Little does he know I plan to sleep in till four AM and prank him by freaking out. Then I'll get ready and ask him to take me to work, only to yell "Gotcha!" When we're half way down the freeway.

Quizes

2009-09-13T01:35:37Z

You have lived 7975 days, 23 hours, 34 minutes and 27 seconds in this life.

I do not know how you feel about *****************, but it seems that you were male in your last incarnation.

You were born somewhere in the territory of modern East Australia, around the year 1775.

Your profession was that of a leader, major or captain

Your brief psychological profile in your past life: Timid, constrained, quiet person. You had creative talents, which waited until this life to be liberated. Sometimes your environment considered you strange.

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation: Your main task is to make the world more beautiful. Physical and spiritual deserts are just waiting for your touch. Keep smiling!

If only.

Sadly

2009-09-11T20:55:30Z

I play Fallout when I'm angry.
I play Sims 3 when I feel like I can't control anything in my life.

Guess which one I'm going to play now?

Drabble: A Day In My Shoes

2009-09-11T00:55:07Z

I wake up and there is no sun in my eyes. The dim lights on my alarm clock barely light up the numbers 8:17 am. We have no windows. Just two square holes on either side of the room that pretend to be brown, board colored windows. Moving across the room silently, turning on the lights around the house to get ready for the day. I don't like eating loud things, because I don't like waking up my boyfriend. He is not what one would call a morning person. He wakes up, because I talk to myself. Has anyone seen my socks? I know I have socks, even though I rarely wear them. Because they suffocate my feet, I tell people. Don't they suffocate your feet?

We have a short conversations, then I pull out color pencils and an envelope. I like to draw on envelopes. I never send the envelopes. They are decorated with the recipients address and a stamp, but it will never see the inside of a mail box. It's too beautiful to leave my home. I tuck it underneath the telly. Next, I do various voice impressions with my boyfriend. He finds them fascinating as he cannot do them. Then, I laugh uncontrollably till he asks why I am laughing and gets uncomfortable. He suggests we see a movie. Every day we say we will see a movie. We never do. Instead, I find better things to do. I play Jenga, then build a tower, then think about painting the blocks. He asks if I want to go out. I do, but I don't know where. I sit on the couch upside down until I fall asleep.

We drive around and stop at the beach. It is midnight now. We walk along the shore. I put my socks in my pocket. The ones I had been looking for earlier. We see strange things shining on the shore. They are grunions. People are running around laughing, screaming with buckets. We attempt to touch one, but I only get as close as my toe touching its fin. I scream. I'm cold. We walk upstairs. I put my socks on, but one is missing. Socks are unreliable.

Blink

2009-09-10T23:36:15Z

Today is my mothers birthday. Despite our text row, I purchased a cake for her. It was only five dollars. I put a few decorations on it and wrote Happy Birthday. When I went to go purchase it, Deena stopped me.
"I hope you're paying with cash, the systems are down."
So I went and got money out of the ATM, came back and paid. I had to take twenty dollars out just to pay for a five dollar cake and a soda. Of course, a man came up behind me and when he found out, swore vehemently and left his basket. Apparently, we lost a lot of business. Goes to show you how dependent people are on technology. Even the machines in the bakery are breaking. Which is why I wish I could just make some things by hand. But mixing a hundred pounds of dough is pretty ridiculous.

A few days ago, we (my boyfriend, our friend, and myself) went to Gap to get jeans. Everyone was very uncomfortable, because we hardly fit in with places like Gap. Nonetheless, as I helped Julio look for a shirt, a woman came up to me.
"Hi, I'm Rachael, I called earlier to put a shirt on hold. It's pink and plaid."
I guess after we all looked at her like she was crazy and I said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I don't work here," she got the hint. But that was the day I found a white hair. Not gray. Pure white. I'm not even in my mid twenties for crying out loud.

Note to self: do not put so much mustard on hot dog.

Marian

2009-09-09T20:35:26Z

A few days ago, I upset my mother. I'm guessing she wants me to say sorry, but there's no reason to say sorry unless you're sorry. Which I'm not. So we all (my boyfriend, me, and two of our friends) went to get my rabbit from her house. Now I have a rabbit in my kitchen that looks like Billy idol (her snout sticks up like a snarl on one side).

Eloise

2009-09-05T19:50:28Z

It's amazing how great you feel after a good dream. I don't even remember what it was about, I just know it was exciting and cute.

Is it weird that I wish there were stories of Eloise and Leon a little older and having adventures and falling head over for each other. Because, and I say this without any knowledge of the books I'll have you know, that would be adorable. The movie almost implied it, but then I realised she was six. Still. I don't care about Nanny and Sir Wilkes. Honestly.

{Edit} I've literally, out of boredom, watched the second season of The Big Bang Theory every day for three months straight. Just recently have I started watching it every other day.